Forgiven
by Gabi217
Summary: Rated R! Ginny and Harry were together, but once Ginny looked up and saw into the eyes of a Slytherin, she doesn't quite know who to trust. She only runs to his arms when she cries, begging to be forgiven...


__

There he was. I don't know how I'd never seen him before, standing there in the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest; leaning heavily against the doorframe with mouth tight lipped. My legs were drawn beneath me, heels stuck into my bottom and head bent, letting my tears fall. My fingers were curled around the handle of the knife, the other hand tightly gripping the sharp blade. The tip touched my stomach, waiting to be plunged, waiting to soak up whatever it was that I was leaning to. Bur his silver eyes, blonde tousled hair from a restless sleep, and searching anger made me fall. And I dropped it, sobbing into his shoulder as his arms came and wrapped around me, forgiving me again. Forgiving me for all the things that I'd done wrong before and now. Forgiven again. By him.

She awoke the next morning to the dark black leather against her chest. The coolness of it touched her chin, the thick sent invading her nostrils. She touched it gently and sighed; her journal. Red curls touched her face, long and stringy this morning from a forgotten shower. She groaned and touched her cheek, unaware of the cold fingertips that rested there. The thick, tingly taste of raspberry vodka was still lingering on her lips; she couldn't feel her face. _Damn._

She sat up in an impulsive rush, groaning and touching her head as the hangover set into her. The liquor in her system had long since washed away; leaving her feeling used by it and very sick and tired. Events flashed beneath her eyelids in long, loud blurs; words that she would've taken back and hits that shouldn't have been. Her heart felt torn. Why was it like this suddenly?

__

"I don't see where he comes into this, Gin. You slept with him, didn't you," he accused with a sneer.

"Ron, it wasn't like that," she cried, pulling her head up from her hands. Harry stood behind her brother, hurt and anger flashing alternatively across his face.

Ron's eyes narrowed, gently. The green almost disappeared altogether behind the family hair.

"Well I don't see another possibility for the word, "cheated" than Malfoy, because God knows none of the other Gryffindors would sleep with you_," he scoffed. She felt a pang of guilt, and a pang of hurt in her heart. Her fists clenched and she stood up, the pride on his face of having a virgin sister disappeared. Fine, we'll play innocent._

"I'm not a little girl anymore, Ronald Weasley, and I certainly will not talk to you about anything like that. I won't take it anymore, and you can just sod off if you think I'm getting out of hand. And yes, I did cheat on Harry, but it was an accident and it never would've even happened_ if it hadn't been for Harry himself over there fucking Parvati Patil in the middle of the old _Charms_ classroom on the 2nd floor," she snarled. Tears were bubbling in her eyes as the scene flashed before them; the arched back and hands she knew so well, pulling together and coming apart, his name rolling across her lips…_

"Fuck you, Ginny," Harry spat. Ron only gave a sidelong glance, letting his mouth fall open.

"Don't you talk to my sister like that, you bastard! How bloody dare you do that to her! This whole thing with her shagging whoever might've been done by her, but it was your fault you - you - wanker!"

Harry's face, that had been so closed and unreadable this whole time, fell open like a dropped book. Guilt, jealousy, and a mixture of anger and pain swept across his face in a giant wave before he lunged forward toward Ginny, and slapped her clear across her right cheek. Her knees crumpled from beneath her as she grasped her face, mouth an open 'o'. She didn't need to turn to see what was about to happen, she could hear it instead. The solid 'oof' as Harry was tackled to the ground, the sickening slaps and punches as his face was beat in. Ron's labored breathing, as he fought hard to make himself right again…

And there he was again. Standing stiffly behind Colin Creevey, who no doubt had gone to him for help. His fists were opening and closing and his eyes were wide, glancing back and forth behind the portrait between the sickly red face of Ginny and the bloody face of Potter. Instinctively he pushed Colin aside and ran to her, pulling her up in one smooth movement. Her hands grasped the front of his black t-shirt, face pressed into his shoulder and hand winding up into the silky platinum hair at his neck. Her legs were gone from beneath her, swept up by his pale arms. And then she couldn't remember anymore.

"Ugh," she moaned aloud. Someone next to her sighed, shocking her enough to make her jump. The figure sat up, hand reaching up to rub his own forehead.

"'Ugh', yourself," he grumbled, running his slender pale hands through the semi-long blonde hair. He didn't look at her, only continued to grumble to himself before sliding out of bed, reaching for his discarded t-shirt as he did so. She glanced down cautiously to see herself fully-clothed still, and sighed. From the other side of the room he gave a quiet chuckle.

"Don't worry Red, nothing happened last night. Well, sexually, so to speak," he added. She rolled her eyes.

__

He let her cry. He pulled her to his chest, knowing it was wrong for the both of them. He had Blaise and she had Potter; it wasn't supposed to be this way. But for the sake of everything he pulled her to him again, and let her pain pour away. It was his fault anyway.

"Would it have really mattered anyway if it had? It's not like I don't already belong to you, right?"

He was silent as he considered this, pouring himself a cup of coffee instead.

"I guess you're right. But you girls always freak out if you don't know if you shagged a guy or not, when you wake up in his bed. If you do, at least."

Ginny shuddered.

"Shut up about that. You're always joking about shit like that, aren't you? So happy to jump the situation because it never happened to you. Well, it did to me, so just leave it."

His open mouth snapped shut from making some snarky remark. He returned to his bedside, handing her a mug of something steamy.

"I know, and I am sorry about that. I just thought that - well, you know, with the whole Gryff thing - it would've been safer, if you were in a different bed, and that it wouldn't give you a heart attack or something if I wasn't around when you woke," he said casually, as if talking about the weather.

"Whatever you say, Draco. But damnit if I didn't cry myself hoarse that day. I thought I'd been bloody raped, or something," she murmured absently, and shrieked when his arm slipped around her waist. He laughed and pulled her to his side, clucking quietly.

"Poor Weasel," he whispered, nuzzling his head in her neck. But she was still stiff as a board, the mug in her hands trembling as the scene flashed before her eyes. Pain shot through her, everywhere, and the pale handprint on her face that still lingered, throbbed. He brought his head up to look at her, but only saw glazed eyes that were watering.

"Gin?" he murmured, but swallowed hard as she dropped the mug to the floor, reaching up to clutch her face. She sobbed once, twice, before the dam let loose.

"It's a-all m-my f-fault," she stammered, clawing at her face.

"What? What's your fault?" he asked, tucking red hair behind her ears. She slapped his hand away, sobbing again.

"I shouldn't - shouldn't have tried to c-catch him," she wailed. "I c-caught you ins-stead! Look w-what I've _d-done!_"

"What? Ginny, Ginny, he _cheated_ on you!"

"I _know_ t-that," she snarled, and pulled herself off his bed, grabbing for her journal.

"But _I _c-cheated on h-him! Don't you g-get it? You should n-never have _s_-_saved_ me. I-it only made me w-want you," she sobbed. Her hand reached out tentatively and touched the knob.

"Now he _h-hates _me. Oh God, I think I'm going to _d-die_," she half-cried from the doorway, clutching her journal to her chest and letting the black tears roll down her cheeks. With a cracked sob and the slam of a door, she was gone.

-

She didn't answer posts. She and Colin had gotten together that evening and him, being the greatest best friend she ever knew, let her cry away her pain and sorrows until he offered to take her shopping and wouldn't take no for an answer. The date was set for Saturday, and they would meet up and leave for Hogsmeade at 12:45 sharp. And then she went into her room and locked the door tight; ignoring the persistent pecks at the windows and closing herself in her canopied bed, hiding her face in her pillows and wailing herself to sleep. Goddamn them for doing this to her.

The next morning came as a Friday. Snow fell with determination, never stopping and piling in large walls against the first-floor windows and the Great Hall doors. Dumbledore spoke with the school at breakfast and stated that warming spells were set but "sorry, students cannot be taken to Hogsmeade tomorrow due to horrid weather." Beside her Colin cringed and patted her back, trying to cheer her up by offering to take her out next weekend. But her face was held firmly in her hands, staring down at her non-touched plate of pancakes and bacon, unconsciously aware of the hair that was rising on the back of her neck. Someone was watching.

Eyes bit into her. Not only from across the table, but across the room as well; emerald green eyes that never closed and apple spheres that were wide with a strange worry she'd never seen before stared from across . But it was the silver that caught her. Those smug looking metallic eyes, burning into her as his lips touched that girl. She had raven colored hair and ice blue eyes, the same hunger and coldness that resided in the eyes she couldn't ever forget. _Maybe that's why they're necking each other. Because they're the same cold, heartless -_

"Ginny?"

Her head snapped up.

"Hmm?" she said, muffled by the hand that was now clamped over her mouth. Her own hand, covering her mouth to stifle her thoughts. Tears blurred in her eyes.

__

I hate you.

She silently screamed across the room, staring up again into the silver she'd known and hated up until her 5th year.

Pain shot through those eyes, as if he'd heard the thing she'd said. Heads turned and snapped in her direction, all glaring at her with a wild curiosity. Colin's hand was pulling on her rolled up sleeve, the same hand that clamped her mouth dangling at her side.

"God, Ginny, what the hell was that? You hate who?" he worried, touching her cheek as he stood. Her eyes burned now, tears rolling down her cheeks again. Draco's stare was broken, his eyes brought back to the raven he'd lost interest in. She was staring at her, anger and jealousy peeling away from the ice blue.

"Come on, bring it on, bitch," she snarled across the room. Then her head fell, her glare pointed at Harry, who was trying to stand and grab her hand.

"Go fuck Parvati, Potter. Save us all the STD's," she growled. She turned on her heel, fingers splayed and covering her eyes. And then she ran.

Nothing could stop her after that. Down those deserted hallways, past portraits that were tossing questions. She skidded to a dead halt at the doorway, facing that damned portrait of his father and her mother.

"Molly," she murmured. Her mother's face lit up, and fell.

"Ginevra, dearest. What are you doing here?" she asked. Ginny only ignored her, sidestepping the question.

"Let me in," she commanded quietly. Lucius, curved stiffly around her own mother, grinned wickedly.

"At least one other Weasley's got some brains in that red head of hers. Come on, Molly. Let the vixen in," he soothed with a smirk. Molly's eyes darkened.

"Shut up, Lucius. Ginevra, what is it dear?" she probed. Ginny let out an impatient sigh.

"Mother, let me _in_," she growled angrily. Her mother's face flew into shock, Lucius's into an amused smile. But the stone lock clicked anyway. She nodded curtly, and tried to hold back screams.

She grabbed both the handles, flinging the doors open with a loud flourish. Closing them behind her billowing gray skirts she ran across the room, pulling open the thick glass doors with strained patience. Finally opening them, she ran across the balcony to the steel railing, throwing herself against it.

Below, she saw his figure. She pushed herself back up but ran back, throwing herself against it once more. Her thighs hit the upper railing, her feet off the ground. Her hands clutched the steel, but her eyes were closed; silently hating everyone but relishing the feeling of her body unsupported by except this railing, the cold air stinging her wet cheeks and red curls dusting her tearstained face.

He could see her. He knew where she was running; their room. The place their parents had established so long ago, created to hide themselves from the world. Only they knew. And now only him and herself knew about the small chamber.

He looked up from his place by the lake, into her pale, red-blotched face, pain falling across her family features. Even from his distance he could hear her quiet sobs, the small wails and moans that escaped her parted lips as she cried. And then, possibly despite her best efforts, his _name._

"Draco," it fell, like a whisper. Then repeated, like a silent mantra. _Draco, Draco, Draco…_

And then in a scream, when, lo and behold; Potter flew across the grounds on that damned broom, aiming right toward her and _hitting_ her, eliciting a loud scream.

__

"Draco!" it cried. He got to his feet; no time to waste this day.

-

"'Draco'?" he asked, disbelief and anger flitting across his emerald eyes. Beneath his clutching hands, she trembled.

"So you _did_ sleep with Malfoy, didn't you," he snarled. His right hand tightened, her knees breaking against the pain.

"Harry, it's not what you -" she began.

"Shut up, Ginny. It _is_ what I think. You slept with that fucker, didn't you. Thinking to take on the big bad world by your teensy weensy self by fucking him. Well you're _wrong,_ Ginevra," he said, scoffing her name in a mocking tone. Her eyes closed, tired of those glowing, probing things that searched her mind.

"I am _not_ wrong; and if you'd get a bloody life and open your eyes you'd realize that maybe I _did_ love you. But now I don't, and you screwed that up yourself; telling me strictly to meet you in that classroom, and then I waltz right in thinking maybe it was my day and you were in there, fucking _her._"

His mouth fell open.

"I didn't do that, Parvati came to me. And so did Pansy, and Blaise -" he started, and then his eyes opened wider at her astonished face.

"You slept with _her?_ Blaise Zabini? As in, that little raven-haired chit you've been staring at while she's necking Malfoy and trying to grope _me _to hell? _Her?" _she breathed, disbelieving.

"Oh, please," she said, shaking her head. His face contorted in anger, and pain flitted across as his hand wrapped around her neck, pressing her against the wall.

"Don't you 'Oh-please' me, because as a matter of fact I _did_ fuck Parvati, and I _did_ fuck Pansy, and, _oh_, I _did_ fuck Blaise Zabini. But it's all your fault, because you insisted on being a fucking little innocent virgin, which you _aren't_ anymore courtesy of Malfoy," he added with a snarl.

"You're nothing, but a little, stupid, snot-faced bitch of a whore that doesn't know _anything,_" he growled, emphasizing every word with a slight squeeze of her neck. His thumb was pressing into her windpipes, and it was suddenly hard to breathe…

And then she screamed. Fast, but loud; a shriek that called a name and ran in unison with the stone doors that flung open. It rang in his ears, even as he was pummeled to the ground; _Draco._ She didn't love him anymore.

She crumpled. Slowly, but in a mess of hair and curled limbs as she fell; the empire of confidence she'd built up so high fell beneath her. Her hands clawed at her throat, the pressure he'd put there having practically collapsed her windpipes. She wheezed slowly, and then faster; into a loud, desperate rasping that fell in time to Draco's fists that smacked against Harry's still-bloodied face from the night before. _The-Boy-That-Should've-Died, _she thought, trying hard to smile, laugh, _something; _anything to fill this colossal void in her chest. And then his pants slowed to sobs, his fists slowing but filled with more pain and intensity from before. Words crossed his breathing, ones that made her cringe in a deep pain.

"Blaise… Ginny… God, Potter you are an asshole… You don't know love… Not like I do… I loved Blaise… you fucked that up… I think - I think I love Ginny… but you're fucking that up too…"

She choked and fell forward, not hearing the bloody gasping from the ebony-headed youth's mouth. She clamped her hands onto Draco's upper arms, trying her hardest to pull him backwards, away from the near-death. Tears slipped down her cheeks, and until they fell onto his hands did he stop to look up into her horror stricken face.

"Oh my God," he murmured, and he gasped; looking down at the motion-less figure. His bloody hands fell up to her face, fingertips gently touching her ashen, tearstained cheeks. As his fingers fell away, smears of blood were drawn across her face. He choked, his mouth opening and closing with words he couldn't say. Silently, he plummeted his head into his hands and sobbed, his body quivering and convulsing with every quiet release. She swallowed the lump in her throat, hands scrambling and reaching out for him. She wrapped her arms around his head and pulled it into her lap, his body falling across her legs. She tucked his head into the small nest her crossed legs made, running her fingers through his hair. She let him cry that night, but only just that once; forgiving him for countless things and paying him back so many favors at once.

-

Well…I don't know what to say. :P Review! I guess, lol. And watch for new fics!


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